dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
