omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
