Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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