its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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