Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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