Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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