Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
