So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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