please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
