so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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