You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
