I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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