Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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