Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
