i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
