I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
