Your mouth is God's brothel.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
