What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
