What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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