Do you still have your period?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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