I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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