Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
