two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
