bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He has the fingertips of a God
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