I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
