ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
