Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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