your room smells of hookers.
And success
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
