My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
