found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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