I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
