Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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