id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
