you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize