dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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