I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
