What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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