I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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