i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
