Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize