Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
