Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
