I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
