I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
