i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
