They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
