I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
