Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
