hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
