I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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