You're completely useless in the revolution.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
