I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Two words: blizzard sex
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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