I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
