You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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