no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
