White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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