You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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