Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
