would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
