Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Pooping to opera.
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