apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
