Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
