I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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