Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize