Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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