addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's shark week go big or go home
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
